Our Newest Baby

This week I am officially at the halfway point in this pregnancy!!  And yesterday was my mid-term anatomy ultrasound.  I was able to drop my oldest 5 kids at a friend's house, and my mother-in-law, mom, and youngest went to the doctor's office. 

What I love about the place I'm going to is that the neonatologist I am under (while being seen by midwives) does my ultrasounds.  He is the formost 4D ultrasound doctor in the area, so he does things quickly and efficiently.  What used to take me an hour with the tech at the other place took 20 minutes with him!  He also asked if we were finding out the gender, to which I said "YES"!! 

I had this feeling I am carrying a girl, although at my last check up the heartbeat was 140-150s which is what my boys were, so I waivered a little.  But the past week I felt a strong girl 'vibe'. 

He checked my cervix to see if there was a change indicating preterm labor.  Everything looks great and sealed tightly shut!  So then, he went straight to the reason I was so excited.  He asked me first, "What do you think you're having."  and I said, "I think it's a girl."  He took a look and said,

"Looks like the girls have it!  It's a girl!"

Fionna is just over the moon excited to be getting another sister.  Kayson was super disappointed at first, but today he is feeling much better about it. 

Now, Bram and I need to find the perfect name for our little girl! All we know right now is her middle name will be "Ann" after his Nana Brow.  (his Nana Jones' middle name is "Anna" which is pretty cool!) 

She was shy.

Milestones

Well, we made it past 10 weeks!!  Darcy was miscarried at exactly 10 weeks, so I was nervous as we approached week 10 with Sparky Nugget (as my kids call the new baby.)!  I had a midwife appointment this past Wednesday, and Libby used the Doppler to try to find a heartbeat.  It took about 5-7 minutes, but we finally heard the "thwump-thwump" of a heartbeat!  I unexpectedly teared up.  It was such a beautiful sound!  Libby understood, and said, "At least they are happy tears!" 

I have the mid pregnancy anatomy scan with the neonatalogist in August when we are at 19 weeks.  I am SO excited to find out if we will be having a girl or a boy!  We do have some names picked out, but are undecided between 2 boy names and 2 girl names.  We do know that if Sparky is a girl, her middle name will be "Ann,"  after my husband's Nana Brow.  Since this is the 500th anniversary of the Reformation, I thought it'd be cool/fitting to use the middle name "Luther" if it's a boy...after the man who started the Reformation by nailing his 95 Theses to the doors of the church in 1517. 

A Rainbow of Hope...and Fear

After the Great Flood in Genesis, God put a rainbow up in the sky, to show His promise to the earth.  Today, whenever we see a rainbow, it reminds us of God's promises, and that He never breaks them.  It gives us hope, knowing we are loved by a God who keeps his covenants with His people.

A miscarriage is one of the biggest storms a family can go through.  It has dark, dark days.  The sun never seems to shine.  All is despairing and gloomy.  And sometimes God sends a rainbow.  A Rainbow Baby is a baby conceived after a loss...whether that loss is a miscarriage, still birth, or newborn death.  It is the beauty after the storm.

Last week, during our flu escapade that lasted 5 days, we found out we are expecting again.  Seeing those 2 pink lines gave me such mixed emotions!  I was elated, excited, and surprised.  And with that came the fear. 
"What if I lose this one, too?"

God is in control over all things.  And He loves and cares for me and my children both living and in heaven.  If He chooses to take this child to be with Him in heaven, then that is His will.  I have comfort and joy knowing that I will see my children again in heaven someday.  And if He mercifully allows this child to remain on this earth, we will love and cherish him and raise him up to love the Lord. 

Everyday brings joy knowing there's a little life inside of me.  Some days I have mini panic attacks that wash over me like a wave.  I have to calm myself down.  Pray.  Beg God to give me His peace.  I know it's normal to be hyper-aware of every twinge, every cramp, every strange feeling after a miscarriage.  I am trying my best to trust in the Lord and give my cares, my baby, into His loving arms.

So, here we go again!

 Baby Sortwell #8 is on it's way!